I don't want salvation prayers. I don't want anyone to have to worry about me. Yes, I accept that people do in fact worry, but in light of world-view differences I feel like my lack of desire for heaven is very troublesome for the devout Christian. Years ago as a devout Christian myself, I personally agonized over friends and family I thought were going to hell... how could I not? I love these people and am deeply affected and influenced by their lifestyle and 'walk with God' yet at the same time saw apathy on issues Jesus himself directly addressed.
Today, I don't believe in the after-life. I view sentient beings as plants and trees: when they die they become life for new species... without a dead Hemlock a beaver may not have food or a home, without a dead Cedar a chipmunk may not have a place to raise its family. But I still empathize with the Christian worrying about others' salvation and thus do not want to be that 'other'.
And so I shy from the topic. I censor myself. I say too little. I don't know how to cross the chasm and reach some mutual ground where I can stand and say that people I love believe I'm going to hell, and not resent their belief.
I'm not sure what harms me more: loved ones believing I'm going to hell, or having a resentment I resent. I do not want to resent ANYTHING or ANYONE. EVER. I have been actively working for years (nearly a decade in actuality) at not letting my mind fuel resentment toward any world-views regardless of their doctrine or dogma. I've feel that I may have mistaken passivity for acceptance, so I will go forward with less of the former and more of the latter.
